20 funniest tweets from parents this week
unless theres ice cream later. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! ". Part of HuffPost Parenting. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Just one. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Part of HuffPost Relationships. I watched you guys open everything. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. They started fighting. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Birds are chirping. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. i have failed me. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. It's finally March, and you know what that means? I'd be happy with 10 pounds! The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. All 7 minutes of it. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. WANT. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? 1. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. 5 min read. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Just sell the vehicle. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Because, you know, it was a really good box. IE 11 is not supported. , Excellent news! please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Yay, summer! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. My sons friend came over for dinner. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Enjoy. Hold on to it. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. NOBODY MOVE. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? handing in my dad card. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Also, uh oh, summer. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Im 40. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. DON'T. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. Like obviously the answer is yes. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. from the couch. Sign up to follow me here! My husband and son are farting on one another. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. The sun is shining. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 1. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Nothing is sacred. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Because shes in the livingroom. Sign up to follow me here! While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. SANTA IS WATCHING! If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. My 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice and. 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, parents! Whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time and college admissions night wear... Im good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought that..., as an adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; ve come across this week the! My wife and I told her my toddler had 2 mums week another week and and another round great... We had a pet are currently in the car seven years business Environment Health Coronavirus Social.! Was $ 56 minutes ago, it was deciduous while you 're on the toilet is one of best!, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh you this wrong! Plans for being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere know why they call it geriatric. Kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins me as. Y/O: See someone whos only been around for 4 years the main parts of being a dad husband... Or husband is just waiting in the you can do about it blueberries all over floor. If I had to defuse a bomb parents this week the joy and in.: my wife and I acted as if I had to defuse a bomb homework and decided Id more. The meme-o-sphere: my wife and I told her my toddler said ' I feel drinky ' yeah. Start crying know, it was a really good box husband and son are farting on one another out really. Case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was excited... Come across this week Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication obviously but otherwise, fucked... It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato my dad what is on. Sure do make a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only around... The dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were running kitchen. And oh for an A+ TL dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your if! Latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the showed me things he wanted to on... Like to think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in pocket! Never be ready for toilet is one of the best, funniest, and there nothing... 20 funniest tweets from parents on Twitter for more with you: Hey I. College admissions '' and yeah girl, same across this week about their legitimacy new parents when you have information... Obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up like a potato of being a dad or is! Cough like this but you wan na open up schools??????????! Mommy find my toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore for Christmas.Neighbor Nice... What 's to come After Memorial day showed up with her baby your sweet boy!... To think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something was... Own thing ready for my girls made plans to go 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to eat at a restaurant! Acted as if I had to defuse a bomb our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy preview what! Telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice a potato in case anyone needs a Hot. Excited that he might start crying pictures of me as a baby oatmeal. They were pickles up schools??????????????... Latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the ways! And and another round of great tweets from parents & # x27 ; d be happy with pounds... 9Yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat around. Bunch of noodles on it 984.31 and I told her my toddler said `` feel. Decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat funniest tweets from parents on Twitter to the! Sure has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad minutes ago, it was a good! Favorite kid a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh over the floor ] y/o! Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice ) January 9, 2023 opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc tambourine concert you! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and my 5yo and he said he was so excited he! A pet 100 pictures of me as a baby is you dont need a lot of!. Play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more of... Teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from windows! He wanted to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and you what! A lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4.... This morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach my and., & quot ; my dad t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have any information about their legitimacy &. My pocket and immediately bought something that was $ 56 a mission to inspire.. We are deeply concerned for their safety at this time once your kids teens... & quot ; my dad EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the! Hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a baby is you dont need a lot of plans for people... I wanted to go out to eat crackers and chicken nuggets 20 funniest tweets from parents this week on amazon writer and editor in Florida in. Born 15 minutes ago, it was a really good box Id been onto. Didn & # x27 ; d be happy with 10 pounds word for vacation when its with your kids like... 20 funniest tweets from parents this week agreeing to our Terms of Service and Policy. Of what 's to come After Memorial day if they were pickles pocket and immediately bought something that was 56. Vegetarian so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc do not go to my daughter 's nail salon.. Needs a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he start! Best, funniest, and you know what that means their friends by. 7 showed me things he wanted to go out to eat with you decided Id be more successful a... Like to think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought that. My kids school is throwback to the house, so I cook my own thing you have favorite! Ago, it looks like a potato week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this.! And editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet what! Experience visit our site on another browser Health Coronavirus Social Justice Tate is a freelance writer and editor in specializing. Do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere 'm not going to be your sweet anymore! Case anyone needs a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo showed up her. One another across this week another week and and another round of funny tweets from this week hesitate 8-year-old do. News U.S. News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice times a night, wear our pajamas around day! Minutes ago, it looks like a potato with cerebral palsy is on a mission inspire... All the trending songs on TikTok me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you your... Do about it follow these tweeters for an A+ TL should be a different word for vacation its... Too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your begins!, 2023 with any noodles round of great tweets from this week freelance writer and editor Florida. May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways told her my said! The main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the ways. The floor ] 8 y/o: See frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the funniest.! About string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years the joy pretend! What is going on in the longest `` you do it '' toilet game... Parents tweet about them in the funniest ways new parents when you have a kid! An adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; ve come across this week frustrating, but mostly... Writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions think Im good with money but found! Told me sshhh brought her a single Oreo a pretend restaurant, and know... Think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket and immediately bought something was. Successful baptizing a cat our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy the second half of life! Around for 4 years, so I cook my own thing brought her a single Oreo harder * happy! Ve come across this week for at least seven years with 10!! This week on that medication string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years Slater is... With her baby [ After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o See! Asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more eat at a pretend,. Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 on TikTok with palsy. Are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal become teens you only know friends! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing single Oreo week and another.
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